i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I don't think brook has ever known best
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
