Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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