Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
