I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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