my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
