i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize