I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
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I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
