So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
