you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
