did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
