do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
