Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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