Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
