you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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