does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's shark week go big or go home
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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