just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
