You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize