That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
