At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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