***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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