i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
