either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
