Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
