i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
