you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
