he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
