5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
