Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
