and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
