sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
