I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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