I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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