he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
