What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Barsexuality is the new black.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
