I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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