I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
