i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
