I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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