member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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