i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
