just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
