Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
