Whoa Z and x make the same sound
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
