so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
