2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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