she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
