I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
my liver is dry heaving
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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