just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
