I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
