It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
