Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i now understand why vodka
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
