Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
you had me at cake vodka
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
