Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Michael Bay diarrhea
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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