just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
