We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
