Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
